Monday, December 03, 2012

As a nation increases in singletons...

Marriage isn't it about time? It's definitely worth it!

A friend posted this article on Facebook. It talks about the increase in demographics in the US today. The end quotes was this which I found very interesting.

"That’s because marriage, as an institution, is helpful to all involved. Survey after survey has shown that married people are happier, wealthier, and healthier than their single counterparts. All of the research suggests that having married parents dramatically improves the well-being of children, both in their youth and later as adults.

As Robert George put it after the election, limited government “cannot be maintained where the marriage culture collapses and families fail to form or easily dissolve. Where these things happen, the health, education, and welfare functions of the family will have to be undertaken by someone, or some institution, and that will sooner or later be the government.” Marriage is what makes the entire Western project​—​liberalism, the dignity of the human person, the free market, and the limited, democratic state​—​possible. George continues, “The two greatest institutions ever devised for lifting people out of poverty and enabling them to live in dignity are the market economy and the institution of marriage. These institutions will, in the end, stand or fall together.”"

A link to the article as this is a direct copy so as to not be plagiarizing on my blog: http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/nation-singles_664275.html?page=3

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Who Am I?

People tell me that the guy who likes me for who I am when I am not with them or who I am inside is the one I should spend my life with.
But who am I without him? That is the question. That is what I have been in search of the answer for.
Did I understand this before my recent experiences, before my recent life changes? Maybe, but maybe not.
Do I fully understand that person now? Probably not because I am a person who is evolving, changing and growing.
But who I have discovered I am is pretty awesome! And whether you choose to see these parts of me or not is up to you.
I am adventurous. I am willing to find a path and walk down that way although I am not sure where it will go. I am not fearful of accepting challenges.
I am not judgmental. I may seem that way from time to time but the reality of me is that regardless I will love you for whatever you choose. I believe you are a person of worth and value and your opinions and feelings matter even if those opinions are different than mine.
I am courageous. I will fight for what I feel strongly about, although I will most likely avoid the fight as much as humanly possible. :)
I am a traditionalist. I love tradition. I love sentimental things. And although I say I don't, I do love playing the piano. I avoid it because of my insecurities of not feeling good enough.
Who am I? I am the most dependable, loyal friend you will ever have! But if you prove to me that my loyalty is in vain, I will seek someone else to share my loyalty with while keeping you a treasured part of my life.
Who am I? A worrywart. I will worry, I will be concerned, I will adjust my entire world to be there for you, support you, and help you find joy.

Monday, October 01, 2012

Life beyond

I was sending a note to a friend who asked me about my religion. I kinda like what I wrote so I thought I would share it to my blog.


One thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we teach that we have a life beyond the grave. In that case, when some one dies (we all will die eventually) you are not just put in a grave and that is the end of existence. When I go then to the next existence the beauty of the teachings I believe are that I am still able to be joined together and connected to my family in this life and in the next. When I have a family of my own that would be especially of the utmost importance as I do not want to just marry someone whom I love and want to spend my life with then die and be alone again. If I love him here and share the bond of 50+ years being married, children, life, love, experiences... I don't want to just die and that's that. That is a depressing thought to me.

I lived with my Grandpa during my first few years of college and became really close with him. He was 93 at the time I moved in with him and my Grandma had already passed away. He missed her so much as over 59 years of marriage they had been best friends/companions. He was excited to exit this life to join her again in the next existence. I was happy for him when that time came but then I was the one left sad and missing him as I became close to him while living with him. But I have the promise that no matter what I can talk to him again. I can hear him tell his silly jokes and hug my Grandma again because of the promises of my faith.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Mature enough not to run

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a devotional last Sunday that I really enjoyed! I kind of became burnt out of CES devotionals a few years ago because I went to every single one, attended all my meeting... And they all seemed to tell me the one thing I wanted most in life-- you should get married. Yes I am putting an effort into that. I am but if even your mother agrees with you that the men you have dated in the past were not good matches that you should have made it work or that you are not being too picky then I am pretty sure it just hasn't been the right match. Just food for thought out there. I attend my meetings, serve in my callings, pay my tithing, attend the temple and no match which means to me (and as it states in my Patriarchal Blessing) I will know when I meet him and I haven't known yet...

Wow not the point of this post

The fireside last week was fantastic! He made a comment that the church of God will no longer flee as it has in the past but will be able to stand with heads held strong. His comment was that the church has reached a maturity enough not to run. I enjoyed that thought.
I have thought from time to time about friends who moved to "run away" or flee from experiences and life that was less than pleasant. Sometimes I am not sure that this does not also apply to me as I moved to D.C. I wasn't running specifically from a guy but kind of I was. Trevor really broke my heart and that is okay except I needed to heal me. I could have done it there but I also feel that my Heavenly Father wanted me to expand beyond that space I was in there so He granted me permission and strength to get up and move. Was I having a lack of maturity to face the problems there... maybe. Am I mature enough now to face them again and or am I running back because of a lack of happiness here? I have wanted friends more than anything, I have wanted to date here both of which have seemed to evade me in an odd sort of way.
I think I am largely going back to change again. I am constantly evolving. I am changing. I am a happy optimistic smiley person who has so many gifts and talents that I need to really learn to understand. I think that is my I am moving. I hope so at least and I hope it does not stem from an immaturity to face things here. :)

Sunday, September 09, 2012

My favorite scripture

This is a two part blog story. I'm going to start with my favorite scripture.
My all time favorite scripture is not a typical one that everyone quotes. Mine is Enos 1:27
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in that day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.

Why is this my favorite scripture you might ask? There are some awesome scripture which I love! This is not the typical all time favorite scripture though. It is mine because when I first remember really reading this scripture was July of 1996. One of my best friends, Derick Wendell Curtis passed away. I had begun reading the scriptures on my own a few months before and had kept with that goal. I obviously hadn't made it far but that night I was exactly on the scripture I needed to be.
As a 13 year old I read the above lines that "I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him and see his face with pleasure."
I read that as while yes it is talking about Christ, I found a promise that Derick was not lost to me. I would see my friend again and he was just going ahead of me to prepared the way.
Then as my teenage years progressed and I was close to a few other deaths, this scripture kept coming back to me as a comfort in those dark hours.
As I have matured, the promise became more prominent in my mind as the Savior beckoning me and reminding me of His love for me individually.

Finally, I was sharing this scripture with a member of my Bishopric I think about 3 years ago so about 2009 or 2010 and hadn't explained why I loved it just that I did. He said he thought I loved it because I look forward to that promise in my life. I look forward to that day when "I shall see his face with pleasure and he will say Come unto me." Yes that is true. It was also a different way of looking at it for me. While yes I had focused on the mortal and immortality and the mansions prepared, I hadn't exactly thought of this as being a righteous person looking forward to promises fulfilled. I had thought of my Savior welcoming me but this as a promise because I am a good person doing my best in this life was a happy realization. I am trying my best and this good member of my Bishopric allowed me to see a glimpse into what hopefully Heavenly Father sees in me. I will return to Him someday and it will be a blessed day!

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

"Be in love with your life"

Be in love with your life. Every detail of it. -- Jack Kerouac. I am in love with my life. I am trying every day to be better. I make that goal often and tell myself tomorrow I will be more productive. Tomorrow I will exercise more, tomorrow I will be more focused, motivated... Guess what: today I was! Today I focused, did homework earlier, made the phone calls, and actually feel pretty good about it! Today I made it happen and tomorrow I will do it again!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

USCT Story

From what I am gathering reading Military Service Records (MSR) at work, here is a story of the Wiggins. 3 USCT (United States Colored Troops) soldiers enlisting in Tennessee in the end of 1863. Apparently they did not want to remain part of the USCT for in February of 1864, they deserted. Shortly thereafter, about a week, they were apprehended and confined in a guard house in Murfreesboro TN. But this guard house wasn't the end of the story, oh no. They then, escaped confinement in April only to have two of the three returned in August. Again, these two deserted one final time in December where they apparently got far enough away. They were not discharged for they deserted and finally stayed deserted this time. :D Hope it was a nice life they created for themselves elsewhere!

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Sisters

What is it about sisters? I love mine with all my heart. For me, Erin in particular, has been by my side all my life. Chasing after her is really my first memory and I am a person complete with many memories! I always know she will have my back even when she argues with me. I am thankful for her at this moment. Tera, my other sister is one of those examples as well I have always chased after. I remember being so young watching her sitting in the chair talking on the phone and flirting. Then watching her date and marry. I so wanted to be just like her. She is still that shining example for all. Both of my sisters are absolutely gorgeous and to be like them and as accomplished as they are is a feat I am still working on everyday. I saw a post this afternoon about a sister who just returned from a mission and would soon be visiting her sister out of state. The sister's response was Yippee I'm so excited. Both of my sisters did this for me recently as I was getting ready for a trip home to Utah. While I have been struggling feeling wanted, necessary and worth anything here in Virginia, my sisters are sometimes my beacon of "you are crazy but we still love you to pieces." I am so thankful for them!

Monday, August 06, 2012

Funny moment

As a music teacher and a product of a parent who said this often, I adore this!

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

I wanna go home

Today I'm feeling homesick. The End.

Friday, June 15, 2012

To be caught

Sometimes I think when it comes to dating, I am an easy catch. Other times I think not so much. While I sometimes show interest readily, other times I hold back. When discussing this with a friend recently they said don't pull away because it's hard because things take work. Yes that i true. And I believe any relationship needs that to grow and become better. I am not pulling away because of the work though. I pull away typically because of my own fears. It's hard to leave your heart on that unpredictable line.
I am fairly open and willing to give anyone a chance in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. But as soon as I feel that bit of openness has been violated or not shared, I will pull. Sometimes I think I may pull too early but I guess that's what makes me human after all.
My dear friend Kirsti said that was what she loved most about me when we first met. She felt that I was warm, open and loving. She said she just wanted to be around me more for that reason. I take that as a huge compliment as that is the person I try to be to everyone! Maybe that's why she and I worked so well because we could see the best in each other. No judging just love.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Thin lines

It has occurred to me recently that there is a thin line between flirting enough to give encouragement to the pursuer and being an unpleasant person. With that line sometimes being thinner and thicker depending on the person and situation. The thing is sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do thing or don't do it may not be perceived the way you intend it to the receiver.
However, when things go right that line of flirting is so fun. It is so refreshing to find someone to chat with and ramble on about seemingly unimportant things. It is so nice to look forward to that call. To find a person that just talking to them even though there are lulls in a conversation just makes a day a bit brighter.
Yet if that is one sided does it matter.
The hard thing is expressing interest as well without being overly zealous. Interest is sometimes just that. That person is fascinating and beyond that who knows. I believe that to be the fundamental problem with dating at present. Dating and interest become scary and far to serious too fast. And by serious I mean they lose their spontaneity.
There is a gentleman in my ward here in Virginia whom I regard in a high manner. He is someone I have had in the past interest in. I have interest elsewhere as of now and have mainly given up on the likelihood of this guy making a move. Point being, he is great but as I've thought of him a few months ago I realized why he hasn't dated anyone since I've known him. And why other guys I know haven't.
In our "adult" phase of careers, of being practical, and of being conservative people as we are, we forgot about the pointless hours and hours long conversations until 3 AM. We forgot about the "forget the stuff we have to do" and let's go do something together to get to know each other. We became adults.
Do you know what 18 and 21 year olds have figured out that we have not? They forgot the heartache potential and put themselves out there. They said I don't know if this will work but I don't know if it won't so might as well try.
Okay in reality they didn't think that at all they just didn't think but that's kinda my point. We as adults, my friends and I, are too practical and in regards to love, practicality may not be the best approach.

Not sure how I got there from thin lines between trying to show interest and being over bearing but there you go. :)

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Peter Pan Trailer

I realize this may be shocking ha ha but I absolutely love Peter Pan!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Paths again?

Apparently I'm on a pathway kick because this was something I wrote in church a few weeks ago.

The Path
The pathway leads me
Where is it going?
If I choose the high road will it make all the difference?
But what difference will it make?

The path just ahead contains a slight bend.

The path I just walked is full of all sorts of things.

It is an interesting path.
The journey has twists, turns and bends.
The story continues and with every step I get stronger;
Yet I sometimes feel I am only getting weaker.

Can I stay the course?
The path is interesting, full of beauty.
I enjoy the journey.
Although I wonder if my legs can keep going.
The beauty is sustaining,

Keep walking the journey continues on ahead!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Paths

Wandering journey down an endless trail,
with paths at every turn beckoning my weary soles.
Which path should I take for the next opportunity or adventure?
Only time will tell as I take a step into the direction of my dreams and those that lie undiscovered just beyond my sight.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

I'll figure out later how to save these and edit the ones on the side but for now I just want these saved as they are quality.
http://lickthebowlgood.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-ive-ever-had.html
http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/p/recipe-index.html

pastrykate.blogspot.com
ishouldhavebeenaprincess.blogspot.com

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Smoking

Here's a thought. I find smoking strange. Maybe that's because I was raised mostly in Utah and Idaho with a little in Indiana. But I was in Indiana from the ages of 10 to 14 years old so it was a significant portion of time to see the world outside my bubble. Maybe so either way maybe I just forgot what outside that bubble is like. Regardless, it has been proven many times that smoking is nothing but harmful. It is not attractive to the eyes or senses. Yet I see it regularly. I recently went to NYC for the first time in years. I was kind of astounded by the fact that as educated as we are in the sciences and such that there were still that many people choosing something so obviously potent.
Then as I walked into the National Archives building, I walked past a woman who I have walked by many times in the past. She looks nice but also like she belongs in how I categorize many of the career people in the archives. It is a breeding ground for the the most awkward in society people. There is the middle aged woman who wears mismatched blouses and elastic skirts that absolutely don't fit or the woman who is so scared to look up at you but has finally started looking and smiling when I smile at her as I walk by on my way to the lockers. I'm pretty sure people ignored her for much of her life which makes me really sad.
Regardless, the other woman first mentioned looked nice but as awkward as the others. Then I saw her outside lighting up a few days ago. As I walked past her, I saw deep dark circles that I swear weren't there before I saw the cigarette. She looked so sad in that moment.
I may be addicted to chocolate but other than harming my waistline, it isn't utterly destroying my health. I am sad for those people who have an addition they can't control and are influenced by other people and unable to quit. I don't think many of them really want to but many lack the conviction and ability to quit and for those I feel sadness. (But I feel unhappiness for those that smoke in my face they choose knowing they could do something about it. -- And there is my soapbox. :))

Monday, March 05, 2012

Ready ready

Okay that last post while I said I was addressing Bekah in the beginnng, I didn't really as I went on. My thoughts were too jumbled. As I look back as well, only half of it makes sense to what I was thinking-- again suppose that makes sense with the thoughts I'm sorting but still.
Regardless I have many many thoughts as of lately so the historywendy blog may just step it up a notch if you stay tuned. ;)
Like for instance look forward to my opinion on smoking, Times Square standing in the middle of the crowd for hours, wandering Central Park alone, finding out that oh drat I'm too good at being alone lately... sometimes there are boys you don't talk about -- for a reason, not the positive reason...
Oh and there are more thoughts so take that world -- I'm back!

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Rolling around in my head

Hi Bekah :)
Yes I kinda feel like you, Rebekah Marsh might be the only one who may actually read this -- if you actually do. For that reason I guess I'm okay with that. I'm also okay with you skipping reading this as this is really just a jumbling up of thoughts rolling in my head that I need to process this morning and can't seem to adequately. For that reason, I logged onto my blog and started writing to find some clarity.

For the moment this is a view of my life. I'm living out of my car more or less. I'm feeling completely unmotivated for half the day and frustrated. I'm fighting with myself constantly to remind myself I want to be a happy, self motivated ambitious, strong, intelligent person. I want to be better about getting up in the morning, getting going and being productive. Ugh. I want to love everyone and for everyone to love me. Yes I realize that's not logical but that was mostly how life was up until now. And the struggles with people were little struggles not big and buggie.
I just want a few friends to include me in their things. I hear and see pictures all the time of people hanging out. I want to hang out. I call and ask people what they are up to and they say they are busy or they tell me about the dinner party they had last weekend. Lovely. :S I would plan things but I can't seem to gather a few friends to plan things with that I feel stable enough with. I would plan things but I'm kinda living out of my car so kind have to invite myself or not go so since I don't get invited by them, I can't get involved so I go to Safeway after work to check in on facebook because I dislike being at home that much.

I'm staying a little with a friend downtown right now but I feel like a burden. I don't like feeling like a burden.

I want to get a better job but I feel like if I stay here I will become hard, less sensitive, and lose some of that tenderness that is me. Sometimes I think I need to lose some of that. I am attracted to that kind of thing but it's just not me. But it is exciting. I want to be a school teacher. That's my greatest life ambition. I am excited I have a plan for that now! But that plan involves Utah and I'm not ready to go back yet am I? What do I do in the mean time? I have options I'm just not sure which option to take.

The End :)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Judge a Man By the Woman



Yet another song I wanted to remember. And frankly I like the video. I want to be that kind of woman for a man someday. And yes I totally support Mitt and Ann. :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I've got to say first yes, I did enjoy the movie Letters to Juliet. Secondly though, I am not that obsessed with it that I posted 3 movies about it. Those posted songs were about the lyrics in the songs. The question that can haunt you with "what if." The "you've got me" and I just really liked the "find me" song. They all just coincidentally lead me one to another from first watching the beginning of that movie and well it's a good soundtrack. The end. :)

Letters to Juliet - You got me - Colbie Caillat -16:9 widescreen HD



K Kinda loving this song. Kinda thinking someday I will wish I could remember it so I posted it. :)

Sophie/Charlie~Find Me {Letters To Juliet}

What If - Colbie Caillat

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Kirsti Luba Collins

My dear friends birthday is today. I hope she knows what a gem she is in my life. She is one of those people that once she becomes a part of your world you are better. When she is around she brings with her a desire to make one a better person, a courage to stand up for yourself, the resolve not to wallow in self doubt or pity. She is the kind of friend that says its safe to be open and honest with me and I will still accept your friendship. She is the person that when she calls at midnight and says meet me at this place now that I quickly put shoes on and jump in my car. I go not because I fear her rebuke but because I enjoy her company that much! She doesn't like her birthday and hopes that the day passes by without pomp and circumstance yet I had to at least write her a little note to tell her how thankful I am for her. I am so thankful she was born. I am thankful for her and the unique gentle person she is. Without her the world would be different and for that I am so glad she is here and here now as my friend. Happy birthday dear friend! I'll write you a little note in a very unpublic blog and hope that today and other days you remember how amazing you are!

Wendy

Car Searching

Cars are like people it is true.
Maybe that's why I've had such a hard time finding my new one.
The thing is the cost of repairs outweighed the total value of the car.
I decided it was time to find a new car.
I haven't yet found a car at the right price and mileage I've felt good about so my search continues.
Makes me think of my continued search for a spouse.
My anticipation is that I will fall in love with him and the value of said husband will remain higher than the cost of "repairs." :) Teehee. It was a funny thought at the time as my coworker and I talked about it.
I hope my car search ends sooner than the spouse search but then again the expected commitment and life expectancy of the car verses the spouse are very different matters after all.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

1 year in VA

One year ago I arrived in VA. One year ago I set out on a journey to change myself, to change my life and to become better with every step. I knew at the time that staying where I was would not be where I would be able to succeed and unfortunately at the time I realized it would take the entire country to help me make the changes.
Have I succeeded?
This has been quite a year for me. It has been full of laughter, tears, friends, memories, heartbreak, joys. It was most definitely not how I imagined it would be but then again how did I really imagine it would be? There was no comprehension into what lay ahead of me when I put my foot to the accelerator and started out across the wide expanse of pavement to get to my new address.
There have been people in my life that have come so clearly a part of it that I can no longer imagine life without knowing them. It is amazingly true that you learn from each and every person who you encounter in life. If you let them they will touch your life and hopefully that touch will be for your own good. As we know though, we have the agency to control how we receive that touch regardless of how they throw it out there. I'm still working on that part of interpretations in life. :)
A year in Virginia.
Now the question remains -- will I stay and if so for how long?