My Heart:
I want so much to give it out,
To hand it over freely.
My protections are so high
It seems easier to keep it safe.
To truly love you must let go
And hope the feeling returns.
I am not sure if my heart can take,
Opening up much more.
The one thing I want more than anything
Evades me once again.
I have to wonder
Is it because I won't let others in?
I keep it safe and things seem good,
Then when I start growing more attached,
The feeling of heartache feels hauntingly near.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
I think I am a bit too good at protecting my heart. The good thing is that I am strong and able because of this. The bad thing is that when I open up I tend to get more defensive and scared and therefore push away those that I am trying to open my heart to. Isn't it fun having quirks? :P
Scared of having my heartache.
The pain it causes and the feelings that flow.
Why does it have to be so attached to my emotions?
When will I be able to open up?
Will there be someone patient enough for my quirk?
My heart has been broken,
I have survived so why does that feeling scare me so?
I made it through heartache before
So I know I can do it again.
Yet my defenses seem to be getting stronger.
I have an old friend who would laugh
As he thought my defenses were high way back when.
Am I growing and getting better with time or
Do my fears direct me where the faith should be leading?
What am I to do except learn and keep trying,
To get better and stronger with each experience!
Scared of having my heartache.
The pain it causes and the feelings that flow.
Why does it have to be so attached to my emotions?
When will I be able to open up?
Will there be someone patient enough for my quirk?
My heart has been broken,
I have survived so why does that feeling scare me so?
I made it through heartache before
So I know I can do it again.
Yet my defenses seem to be getting stronger.
I have an old friend who would laugh
As he thought my defenses were high way back when.
Am I growing and getting better with time or
Do my fears direct me where the faith should be leading?
What am I to do except learn and keep trying,
To get better and stronger with each experience!
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
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