This poem I read the other day in pinterest. As I am about to move and have been sad about saying goodbye it really struck me. Also that I had a friend recently pass away who I knew in high school. Life is short or long but it is what it is regardless so remember the best.
When I'm Gone
by Mrs. Lyman Hancock
When I come to the end of my journey
And I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned
And remember only the smile
Forget unkind words I have spoken
Remember some good I have done
Forget that I ever had heartache
And remember I've had loads of fun
Forget that I've stumbled and blundered
And sometimes fell by the way
Remember I have fought some hard battles
And won, ere the close of the day
Then forget to grieve for my going
I would not have you sad for a day
But in summer just gather some flowers
And remember the place where I lay
And come in the shade of evening
When the sun paints the sky in the west
Stand for a few moments beside me
And remember only my best
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
How long after all?
How long will this remain
I do not know
I sometimes think that is the beauty of it. Every situation has fun, has an energy but has a dark side. Where then am I focusing? Which part am I letting win?
Can you find the positive? There is always a benefit in some way but the trick is finding it.
Take a shift in perspective, find a way for the positive, even if that positive element isn't in your favor.
I do not know
I sometimes think that is the beauty of it. Every situation has fun, has an energy but has a dark side. Where then am I focusing? Which part am I letting win?
Can you find the positive? There is always a benefit in some way but the trick is finding it.
Take a shift in perspective, find a way for the positive, even if that positive element isn't in your favor.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Friend
Morbid but I think it's funny thought. When I die I think my tombstone will read "Here lies Wendy. She was a good friend."
I am not fantastic at anything nor am I memorable for the most part but a good enough friend I suppose I try to be. I wish I was better or best but at least I get points for being good. :)
I am not fantastic at anything nor am I memorable for the most part but a good enough friend I suppose I try to be. I wish I was better or best but at least I get points for being good. :)
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Winona playing Mozart
A note on this. I was her very first piano teacher. I am still currently her teacher and the only teacher she has had. She practices a lot though but still makes me so proud! And this is a video which doesn't seem to be loading. :( I'll keep working on how to make that work
Monday, February 25, 2013
I'm a woman
Yes, I realize that is not a surprise to anyone who knows me so keep reading.
I am so thankful I am a woman.
I rejoice in the differences between man and woman. While they outwardly seem sometimes unequal, or less beneficial to be one or another, I am thankful for the woman that I am and for the divinely appointed roles of each.
I am thankful for the gospel and the understanding I am given of my divinity of womanhood. Also why those divine differences are so blessed and beautiful.
This is not a direct response to the recent "events" of the women in the church or outside the church. But due to those things and some other recent conversations, I have been thinking about it.
I was chatting with a male on Saturday evening who told me my sense of womanliness was a very attractive quality. Thank you Mr Unnamed for valuing me as a woman and daughter of God!
Monday, February 18, 2013
A recent learning experience
David Hornby.
Recently I became involved in some kind of relationship with a very nice fellow named David. Technically, I met him and we dated a few times 2 1/2 years ago but in November, we kind of re-met so to speak and the relationship took a turn for the positive.
During this time of dating him, getting to know him via mainly long distance communication, I tried to make some personal progress towards my own dating endeavors. My sister and I had many long conversations because for some reason, even though I initiated this most recent line of relationship, he was the one that pushed it or seemed the most proactive. I kind of like that because as a woman, I want to be chased by a man. And most men like doing the chasing.
And although I did the initiating, my instinct was to run. I'm pretty sure that instinct has a lot to do with the single nature of my life as well. :S
And those long conversations with my sister for some reason this time around were quite different than in the past. This time those comments helped me to feel like I was really growing and understanding myself and understanding relationships differently than I had in previous relationships.
Also, David, being the great guy he is, gave me a sense of calm and trust that I don't often feel. And although that relationship is now over, I feel I have learned a lot and am thankful for that.
So for this reason, I wanted to write here some of the things I have learned from this relationship.
1. I found out I really am more country than I am city. Okay okay so I really have been learning that a lot over the past 2 years of living in Virginia (metro DC area).
2. Even though I told him I wouldn't like to live on a farm someday, I've realized I actually think it would work for me.
3. When I was young, I was always attracted most to men in suits. I still am. And for some reason, guilty secret, I often though that was the kind of guy I would be most interested in or the kind of guy pursuing that kind of job. I was wrong. I would much rather a man who wants to be involved in his families lives, to know the children and to love seeing and being around his wife. From the single men who have those "suit" jobs, I've realized they get stuck in traffic, have to work a lot, and I think the simpler life makes so much more sense.
4. No matter how my "ideal" life is, there is no way to predict how things are going to be. You will never be able to date enough, to ask enough questions or understand what will or won't happen. Yes you still have to get to know a person and date them. But as I've said, and as I realize more now, dating and the advancing steps, are truly a leap of faith.
5. Things change.
6. As scary as it is to express myself and tell someone what I feel, it is important. In past relationships, I've often kept my mouth shut about my opinions or needs and then felt frustration when they were "in love" with me but knew nothing about me. I tried with David to open my mouth about true feelings. Oddly, when that came to telling him I would not like my future to be on a farm, that opinion evolved and brought me to a realization of an opinion different than I expected in my mind.
7. A good relationship should be built on mutual respect, compromise and understanding. Love is a verb which requires active participation. If you understand an attitude or perspective it makes a difference. And every relationship requires compromise.
8. Be in a relationship that makes you want to be better but that you still feel like they accept you for who you are. I often worry due to my "unique personality" (it says that in my Patriarchal Blessing) that in a relationship I would not be accepted and always be walking on eggshells to be acting the part of normalcy. David made me feel accepted just for me.
Well I think those are some good learning points. I feel like I made a lot of emotional progress in this relationship and I am thankful for a person who gave me that opportunity.
Recently I became involved in some kind of relationship with a very nice fellow named David. Technically, I met him and we dated a few times 2 1/2 years ago but in November, we kind of re-met so to speak and the relationship took a turn for the positive.
During this time of dating him, getting to know him via mainly long distance communication, I tried to make some personal progress towards my own dating endeavors. My sister and I had many long conversations because for some reason, even though I initiated this most recent line of relationship, he was the one that pushed it or seemed the most proactive. I kind of like that because as a woman, I want to be chased by a man. And most men like doing the chasing.
And although I did the initiating, my instinct was to run. I'm pretty sure that instinct has a lot to do with the single nature of my life as well. :S
And those long conversations with my sister for some reason this time around were quite different than in the past. This time those comments helped me to feel like I was really growing and understanding myself and understanding relationships differently than I had in previous relationships.
Also, David, being the great guy he is, gave me a sense of calm and trust that I don't often feel. And although that relationship is now over, I feel I have learned a lot and am thankful for that.
So for this reason, I wanted to write here some of the things I have learned from this relationship.
1. I found out I really am more country than I am city. Okay okay so I really have been learning that a lot over the past 2 years of living in Virginia (metro DC area).
2. Even though I told him I wouldn't like to live on a farm someday, I've realized I actually think it would work for me.
3. When I was young, I was always attracted most to men in suits. I still am. And for some reason, guilty secret, I often though that was the kind of guy I would be most interested in or the kind of guy pursuing that kind of job. I was wrong. I would much rather a man who wants to be involved in his families lives, to know the children and to love seeing and being around his wife. From the single men who have those "suit" jobs, I've realized they get stuck in traffic, have to work a lot, and I think the simpler life makes so much more sense.
4. No matter how my "ideal" life is, there is no way to predict how things are going to be. You will never be able to date enough, to ask enough questions or understand what will or won't happen. Yes you still have to get to know a person and date them. But as I've said, and as I realize more now, dating and the advancing steps, are truly a leap of faith.
5. Things change.
6. As scary as it is to express myself and tell someone what I feel, it is important. In past relationships, I've often kept my mouth shut about my opinions or needs and then felt frustration when they were "in love" with me but knew nothing about me. I tried with David to open my mouth about true feelings. Oddly, when that came to telling him I would not like my future to be on a farm, that opinion evolved and brought me to a realization of an opinion different than I expected in my mind.
7. A good relationship should be built on mutual respect, compromise and understanding. Love is a verb which requires active participation. If you understand an attitude or perspective it makes a difference. And every relationship requires compromise.
8. Be in a relationship that makes you want to be better but that you still feel like they accept you for who you are. I often worry due to my "unique personality" (it says that in my Patriarchal Blessing) that in a relationship I would not be accepted and always be walking on eggshells to be acting the part of normalcy. David made me feel accepted just for me.
Well I think those are some good learning points. I feel like I made a lot of emotional progress in this relationship and I am thankful for a person who gave me that opportunity.
Monday, December 03, 2012
As a nation increases in singletons...
Marriage isn't it about time? It's definitely worth it!
A friend posted this article on Facebook. It talks about the increase in demographics in the US today. The end quotes was this which I found very interesting.
"That’s because marriage, as an institution, is helpful to all involved. Survey after survey has shown that married people are happier, wealthier, and healthier than their single counterparts. All of the research suggests that having married parents dramatically improves the well-being of children, both in their youth and later as adults.
As Robert George put it after the election, limited government “cannot be maintained where the marriage culture collapses and families fail to form or easily dissolve. Where these things happen, the health, education, and welfare functions of the family will have to be undertaken by someone, or some institution, and that will sooner or later be the government.” Marriage is what makes the entire Western project—liberalism, the dignity of the human person, the free market, and the limited, democratic state—possible. George continues, “The two greatest institutions ever devised for lifting people out of poverty and enabling them to live in dignity are the market economy and the institution of marriage. These institutions will, in the end, stand or fall together.”"
A link to the article as this is a direct copy so as to not be plagiarizing on my blog: http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/nation-singles_664275.html?page=3
A friend posted this article on Facebook. It talks about the increase in demographics in the US today. The end quotes was this which I found very interesting.
"That’s because marriage, as an institution, is helpful to all involved. Survey after survey has shown that married people are happier, wealthier, and healthier than their single counterparts. All of the research suggests that having married parents dramatically improves the well-being of children, both in their youth and later as adults.
As Robert George put it after the election, limited government “cannot be maintained where the marriage culture collapses and families fail to form or easily dissolve. Where these things happen, the health, education, and welfare functions of the family will have to be undertaken by someone, or some institution, and that will sooner or later be the government.” Marriage is what makes the entire Western project—liberalism, the dignity of the human person, the free market, and the limited, democratic state—possible. George continues, “The two greatest institutions ever devised for lifting people out of poverty and enabling them to live in dignity are the market economy and the institution of marriage. These institutions will, in the end, stand or fall together.”"
A link to the article as this is a direct copy so as to not be plagiarizing on my blog: http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/nation-singles_664275.html?page=3
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Who Am I?
People tell me that the guy who likes me for who I am when I am not with them or who I am inside is the one I should spend my life with.
But who am I without him? That is the question. That is what I have been in search of the answer for.
Did I understand this before my recent experiences, before my recent life changes? Maybe, but maybe not.
Do I fully understand that person now? Probably not because I am a person who is evolving, changing and growing.
But who I have discovered I am is pretty awesome! And whether you choose to see these parts of me or not is up to you.
I am adventurous. I am willing to find a path and walk down that way although I am not sure where it will go. I am not fearful of accepting challenges.
I am not judgmental. I may seem that way from time to time but the reality of me is that regardless I will love you for whatever you choose. I believe you are a person of worth and value and your opinions and feelings matter even if those opinions are different than mine.
I am courageous. I will fight for what I feel strongly about, although I will most likely avoid the fight as much as humanly possible. :)
I am a traditionalist. I love tradition. I love sentimental things. And although I say I don't, I do love playing the piano. I avoid it because of my insecurities of not feeling good enough.
Who am I? I am the most dependable, loyal friend you will ever have! But if you prove to me that my loyalty is in vain, I will seek someone else to share my loyalty with while keeping you a treasured part of my life.
Who am I? A worrywart. I will worry, I will be concerned, I will adjust my entire world to be there for you, support you, and help you find joy.
But who am I without him? That is the question. That is what I have been in search of the answer for.
Did I understand this before my recent experiences, before my recent life changes? Maybe, but maybe not.
Do I fully understand that person now? Probably not because I am a person who is evolving, changing and growing.
But who I have discovered I am is pretty awesome! And whether you choose to see these parts of me or not is up to you.
I am adventurous. I am willing to find a path and walk down that way although I am not sure where it will go. I am not fearful of accepting challenges.
I am not judgmental. I may seem that way from time to time but the reality of me is that regardless I will love you for whatever you choose. I believe you are a person of worth and value and your opinions and feelings matter even if those opinions are different than mine.
I am courageous. I will fight for what I feel strongly about, although I will most likely avoid the fight as much as humanly possible. :)
I am a traditionalist. I love tradition. I love sentimental things. And although I say I don't, I do love playing the piano. I avoid it because of my insecurities of not feeling good enough.
Who am I? I am the most dependable, loyal friend you will ever have! But if you prove to me that my loyalty is in vain, I will seek someone else to share my loyalty with while keeping you a treasured part of my life.
Who am I? A worrywart. I will worry, I will be concerned, I will adjust my entire world to be there for you, support you, and help you find joy.
Monday, October 01, 2012
Life beyond
I was sending a note to a friend who asked me about my religion. I kinda like what I wrote so I thought I would share it to my blog.
One thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we teach that we have a life beyond the grave. In that case, when some one dies (we all will die eventually) you are not just put in a grave and that is the end of existence. When I go then to the next existence the beauty of the teachings I believe are that I am still able to be joined together and connected to my family in this life and in the next. When I have a family of my own that would be especially of the utmost importance as I do not want to just marry someone whom I love and want to spend my life with then die and be alone again. If I love him here and share the bond of 50+ years being married, children, life, love, experiences... I don't want to just die and that's that. That is a depressing thought to me.
I lived with my Grandpa during my first few years of college and became really close with him. He was 93 at the time I moved in with him and my Grandma had already passed away. He missed her so much as over 59 years of marriage they had been best friends/companions. He was excited to exit this life to join her again in the next existence. I was happy for him when that time came but then I was the one left sad and missing him as I became close to him while living with him. But I have the promise that no matter what I can talk to him again. I can hear him tell his silly jokes and hug my Grandma again because of the promises of my faith.
One thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we teach that we have a life beyond the grave. In that case, when some one dies (we all will die eventually) you are not just put in a grave and that is the end of existence. When I go then to the next existence the beauty of the teachings I believe are that I am still able to be joined together and connected to my family in this life and in the next. When I have a family of my own that would be especially of the utmost importance as I do not want to just marry someone whom I love and want to spend my life with then die and be alone again. If I love him here and share the bond of 50+ years being married, children, life, love, experiences... I don't want to just die and that's that. That is a depressing thought to me.
I lived with my Grandpa during my first few years of college and became really close with him. He was 93 at the time I moved in with him and my Grandma had already passed away. He missed her so much as over 59 years of marriage they had been best friends/companions. He was excited to exit this life to join her again in the next existence. I was happy for him when that time came but then I was the one left sad and missing him as I became close to him while living with him. But I have the promise that no matter what I can talk to him again. I can hear him tell his silly jokes and hug my Grandma again because of the promises of my faith.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Mature enough not to run
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a devotional last Sunday that I really enjoyed! I kind of became burnt out of CES devotionals a few years ago because I went to every single one, attended all my meeting... And they all seemed to tell me the one thing I wanted most in life-- you should get married. Yes I am putting an effort into that. I am but if even your mother agrees with you that the men you have dated in the past were not good matches that you should have made it work or that you are not being too picky then I am pretty sure it just hasn't been the right match. Just food for thought out there. I attend my meetings, serve in my callings, pay my tithing, attend the temple and no match which means to me (and as it states in my Patriarchal Blessing) I will know when I meet him and I haven't known yet...
Wow not the point of this post
The fireside last week was fantastic! He made a comment that the church of God will no longer flee as it has in the past but will be able to stand with heads held strong. His comment was that the church has reached a maturity enough not to run. I enjoyed that thought.
I have thought from time to time about friends who moved to "run away" or flee from experiences and life that was less than pleasant. Sometimes I am not sure that this does not also apply to me as I moved to D.C. I wasn't running specifically from a guy but kind of I was. Trevor really broke my heart and that is okay except I needed to heal me. I could have done it there but I also feel that my Heavenly Father wanted me to expand beyond that space I was in there so He granted me permission and strength to get up and move. Was I having a lack of maturity to face the problems there... maybe. Am I mature enough now to face them again and or am I running back because of a lack of happiness here? I have wanted friends more than anything, I have wanted to date here both of which have seemed to evade me in an odd sort of way.
I think I am largely going back to change again. I am constantly evolving. I am changing. I am a happy optimistic smiley person who has so many gifts and talents that I need to really learn to understand. I think that is my I am moving. I hope so at least and I hope it does not stem from an immaturity to face things here. :)
Wow not the point of this post
The fireside last week was fantastic! He made a comment that the church of God will no longer flee as it has in the past but will be able to stand with heads held strong. His comment was that the church has reached a maturity enough not to run. I enjoyed that thought.
I have thought from time to time about friends who moved to "run away" or flee from experiences and life that was less than pleasant. Sometimes I am not sure that this does not also apply to me as I moved to D.C. I wasn't running specifically from a guy but kind of I was. Trevor really broke my heart and that is okay except I needed to heal me. I could have done it there but I also feel that my Heavenly Father wanted me to expand beyond that space I was in there so He granted me permission and strength to get up and move. Was I having a lack of maturity to face the problems there... maybe. Am I mature enough now to face them again and or am I running back because of a lack of happiness here? I have wanted friends more than anything, I have wanted to date here both of which have seemed to evade me in an odd sort of way.
I think I am largely going back to change again. I am constantly evolving. I am changing. I am a happy optimistic smiley person who has so many gifts and talents that I need to really learn to understand. I think that is my I am moving. I hope so at least and I hope it does not stem from an immaturity to face things here. :)
Sunday, September 09, 2012
My favorite scripture
This is a two part blog story. I'm going to start with my favorite scripture.
My all time favorite scripture is not a typical one that everyone quotes. Mine is Enos 1:27
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in that day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
Why is this my favorite scripture you might ask? There are some awesome scripture which I love! This is not the typical all time favorite scripture though. It is mine because when I first remember really reading this scripture was July of 1996. One of my best friends, Derick Wendell Curtis passed away. I had begun reading the scriptures on my own a few months before and had kept with that goal. I obviously hadn't made it far but that night I was exactly on the scripture I needed to be.
As a 13 year old I read the above lines that "I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him and see his face with pleasure."
I read that as while yes it is talking about Christ, I found a promise that Derick was not lost to me. I would see my friend again and he was just going ahead of me to prepared the way.
Then as my teenage years progressed and I was close to a few other deaths, this scripture kept coming back to me as a comfort in those dark hours.
As I have matured, the promise became more prominent in my mind as the Savior beckoning me and reminding me of His love for me individually.
Finally, I was sharing this scripture with a member of my Bishopric I think about 3 years ago so about 2009 or 2010 and hadn't explained why I loved it just that I did. He said he thought I loved it because I look forward to that promise in my life. I look forward to that day when "I shall see his face with pleasure and he will say Come unto me." Yes that is true. It was also a different way of looking at it for me. While yes I had focused on the mortal and immortality and the mansions prepared, I hadn't exactly thought of this as being a righteous person looking forward to promises fulfilled. I had thought of my Savior welcoming me but this as a promise because I am a good person doing my best in this life was a happy realization. I am trying my best and this good member of my Bishopric allowed me to see a glimpse into what hopefully Heavenly Father sees in me. I will return to Him someday and it will be a blessed day!
My all time favorite scripture is not a typical one that everyone quotes. Mine is Enos 1:27
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in that day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
Why is this my favorite scripture you might ask? There are some awesome scripture which I love! This is not the typical all time favorite scripture though. It is mine because when I first remember really reading this scripture was July of 1996. One of my best friends, Derick Wendell Curtis passed away. I had begun reading the scriptures on my own a few months before and had kept with that goal. I obviously hadn't made it far but that night I was exactly on the scripture I needed to be.
As a 13 year old I read the above lines that "I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him and see his face with pleasure."
I read that as while yes it is talking about Christ, I found a promise that Derick was not lost to me. I would see my friend again and he was just going ahead of me to prepared the way.
Then as my teenage years progressed and I was close to a few other deaths, this scripture kept coming back to me as a comfort in those dark hours.
As I have matured, the promise became more prominent in my mind as the Savior beckoning me and reminding me of His love for me individually.
Finally, I was sharing this scripture with a member of my Bishopric I think about 3 years ago so about 2009 or 2010 and hadn't explained why I loved it just that I did. He said he thought I loved it because I look forward to that promise in my life. I look forward to that day when "I shall see his face with pleasure and he will say Come unto me." Yes that is true. It was also a different way of looking at it for me. While yes I had focused on the mortal and immortality and the mansions prepared, I hadn't exactly thought of this as being a righteous person looking forward to promises fulfilled. I had thought of my Savior welcoming me but this as a promise because I am a good person doing my best in this life was a happy realization. I am trying my best and this good member of my Bishopric allowed me to see a glimpse into what hopefully Heavenly Father sees in me. I will return to Him someday and it will be a blessed day!
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
"Be in love with your life"
Be in love with your life. Every detail of it. -- Jack Kerouac.
I am in love with my life. I am trying every day to be better. I make that goal often and tell myself tomorrow I will be more productive. Tomorrow I will exercise more, tomorrow I will be more focused, motivated...
Guess what: today I was!
Today I focused, did homework earlier, made the phone calls, and actually feel pretty good about it! Today I made it happen and tomorrow I will do it again!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
USCT Story
From what I am gathering reading Military Service Records (MSR) at work, here is a story of the Wiggins. 3 USCT (United States Colored Troops) soldiers enlisting in Tennessee in the end of 1863. Apparently they did not want to remain part of the USCT for in February of 1864, they deserted. Shortly thereafter, about a week, they were apprehended and confined in a guard house in Murfreesboro TN. But this guard house wasn't the end of the story, oh no. They then, escaped confinement in April only to have two of the three returned in August. Again, these two deserted one final time in December where they apparently got far enough away. They were not discharged for they deserted and finally stayed deserted this time. :D Hope it was a nice life they created for themselves elsewhere!
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Sisters
What is it about sisters?
I love mine with all my heart. For me, Erin in particular, has been by my side all my life. Chasing after her is really my first memory and I am a person complete with many memories! I always know she will have my back even when she argues with me. I am thankful for her at this moment. Tera, my other sister is one of those examples as well I have always chased after. I remember being so young watching her sitting in the chair talking on the phone and flirting. Then watching her date and marry. I so wanted to be just like her. She is still that shining example for all.
Both of my sisters are absolutely gorgeous and to be like them and as accomplished as they are is a feat I am still working on everyday.
I saw a post this afternoon about a sister who just returned from a mission and would soon be visiting her sister out of state. The sister's response was Yippee I'm so excited. Both of my sisters did this for me recently as I was getting ready for a trip home to Utah. While I have been struggling feeling wanted, necessary and worth anything here in Virginia, my sisters are sometimes my beacon of "you are crazy but we still love you to pieces." I am so thankful for them!
Monday, August 06, 2012
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
To be caught
Sometimes I think when it comes to dating, I am an easy catch. Other times I think not so much. While I sometimes show interest readily, other times I hold back. When discussing this with a friend recently they said don't pull away because it's hard because things take work. Yes that i true. And I believe any relationship needs that to grow and become better. I am not pulling away because of the work though. I pull away typically because of my own fears. It's hard to leave your heart on that unpredictable line.
I am fairly open and willing to give anyone a chance in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. But as soon as I feel that bit of openness has been violated or not shared, I will pull. Sometimes I think I may pull too early but I guess that's what makes me human after all.
My dear friend Kirsti said that was what she loved most about me when we first met. She felt that I was warm, open and loving. She said she just wanted to be around me more for that reason. I take that as a huge compliment as that is the person I try to be to everyone! Maybe that's why she and I worked so well because we could see the best in each other. No judging just love.
I am fairly open and willing to give anyone a chance in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. But as soon as I feel that bit of openness has been violated or not shared, I will pull. Sometimes I think I may pull too early but I guess that's what makes me human after all.
My dear friend Kirsti said that was what she loved most about me when we first met. She felt that I was warm, open and loving. She said she just wanted to be around me more for that reason. I take that as a huge compliment as that is the person I try to be to everyone! Maybe that's why she and I worked so well because we could see the best in each other. No judging just love.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Thin lines
It has occurred to me recently that there is a thin line between flirting enough to give encouragement to the pursuer and being an unpleasant person. With that line sometimes being thinner and thicker depending on the person and situation. The thing is sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do thing or don't do it may not be perceived the way you intend it to the receiver.
However, when things go right that line of flirting is so fun. It is so refreshing to find someone to chat with and ramble on about seemingly unimportant things. It is so nice to look forward to that call. To find a person that just talking to them even though there are lulls in a conversation just makes a day a bit brighter.
Yet if that is one sided does it matter.
The hard thing is expressing interest as well without being overly zealous. Interest is sometimes just that. That person is fascinating and beyond that who knows. I believe that to be the fundamental problem with dating at present. Dating and interest become scary and far to serious too fast. And by serious I mean they lose their spontaneity.
There is a gentleman in my ward here in Virginia whom I regard in a high manner. He is someone I have had in the past interest in. I have interest elsewhere as of now and have mainly given up on the likelihood of this guy making a move. Point being, he is great but as I've thought of him a few months ago I realized why he hasn't dated anyone since I've known him. And why other guys I know haven't.
In our "adult" phase of careers, of being practical, and of being conservative people as we are, we forgot about the pointless hours and hours long conversations until 3 AM. We forgot about the "forget the stuff we have to do" and let's go do something together to get to know each other. We became adults.
Do you know what 18 and 21 year olds have figured out that we have not? They forgot the heartache potential and put themselves out there. They said I don't know if this will work but I don't know if it won't so might as well try.
Okay in reality they didn't think that at all they just didn't think but that's kinda my point. We as adults, my friends and I, are too practical and in regards to love, practicality may not be the best approach.
Not sure how I got there from thin lines between trying to show interest and being over bearing but there you go. :)
However, when things go right that line of flirting is so fun. It is so refreshing to find someone to chat with and ramble on about seemingly unimportant things. It is so nice to look forward to that call. To find a person that just talking to them even though there are lulls in a conversation just makes a day a bit brighter.
Yet if that is one sided does it matter.
The hard thing is expressing interest as well without being overly zealous. Interest is sometimes just that. That person is fascinating and beyond that who knows. I believe that to be the fundamental problem with dating at present. Dating and interest become scary and far to serious too fast. And by serious I mean they lose their spontaneity.
There is a gentleman in my ward here in Virginia whom I regard in a high manner. He is someone I have had in the past interest in. I have interest elsewhere as of now and have mainly given up on the likelihood of this guy making a move. Point being, he is great but as I've thought of him a few months ago I realized why he hasn't dated anyone since I've known him. And why other guys I know haven't.
In our "adult" phase of careers, of being practical, and of being conservative people as we are, we forgot about the pointless hours and hours long conversations until 3 AM. We forgot about the "forget the stuff we have to do" and let's go do something together to get to know each other. We became adults.
Do you know what 18 and 21 year olds have figured out that we have not? They forgot the heartache potential and put themselves out there. They said I don't know if this will work but I don't know if it won't so might as well try.
Okay in reality they didn't think that at all they just didn't think but that's kinda my point. We as adults, my friends and I, are too practical and in regards to love, practicality may not be the best approach.
Not sure how I got there from thin lines between trying to show interest and being over bearing but there you go. :)
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Paths again?
Apparently I'm on a pathway kick because this was something I wrote in church a few weeks ago.
The Path
The pathway leads me
Where is it going?
If I choose the high road will it make all the difference?
But what difference will it make?
The path just ahead contains a slight bend.
The path I just walked is full of all sorts of things.
It is an interesting path.
The journey has twists, turns and bends.
The story continues and with every step I get stronger;
Yet I sometimes feel I am only getting weaker.
Can I stay the course?
The path is interesting, full of beauty.
I enjoy the journey.
Although I wonder if my legs can keep going.
The beauty is sustaining,
Keep walking the journey continues on ahead!
The Path
The pathway leads me
Where is it going?
If I choose the high road will it make all the difference?
But what difference will it make?
The path just ahead contains a slight bend.
The path I just walked is full of all sorts of things.
It is an interesting path.
The journey has twists, turns and bends.
The story continues and with every step I get stronger;
Yet I sometimes feel I am only getting weaker.
Can I stay the course?
The path is interesting, full of beauty.
I enjoy the journey.
Although I wonder if my legs can keep going.
The beauty is sustaining,
Keep walking the journey continues on ahead!
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