Sometimes I think when it comes to dating, I am an easy catch. Other times I think not so much. While I sometimes show interest readily, other times I hold back. When discussing this with a friend recently they said don't pull away because it's hard because things take work. Yes that i true. And I believe any relationship needs that to grow and become better. I am not pulling away because of the work though. I pull away typically because of my own fears. It's hard to leave your heart on that unpredictable line.
I am fairly open and willing to give anyone a chance in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. But as soon as I feel that bit of openness has been violated or not shared, I will pull. Sometimes I think I may pull too early but I guess that's what makes me human after all.
My dear friend Kirsti said that was what she loved most about me when we first met. She felt that I was warm, open and loving. She said she just wanted to be around me more for that reason. I take that as a huge compliment as that is the person I try to be to everyone! Maybe that's why she and I worked so well because we could see the best in each other. No judging just love.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Thin lines
It has occurred to me recently that there is a thin line between flirting enough to give encouragement to the pursuer and being an unpleasant person. With that line sometimes being thinner and thicker depending on the person and situation. The thing is sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do thing or don't do it may not be perceived the way you intend it to the receiver.
However, when things go right that line of flirting is so fun. It is so refreshing to find someone to chat with and ramble on about seemingly unimportant things. It is so nice to look forward to that call. To find a person that just talking to them even though there are lulls in a conversation just makes a day a bit brighter.
Yet if that is one sided does it matter.
The hard thing is expressing interest as well without being overly zealous. Interest is sometimes just that. That person is fascinating and beyond that who knows. I believe that to be the fundamental problem with dating at present. Dating and interest become scary and far to serious too fast. And by serious I mean they lose their spontaneity.
There is a gentleman in my ward here in Virginia whom I regard in a high manner. He is someone I have had in the past interest in. I have interest elsewhere as of now and have mainly given up on the likelihood of this guy making a move. Point being, he is great but as I've thought of him a few months ago I realized why he hasn't dated anyone since I've known him. And why other guys I know haven't.
In our "adult" phase of careers, of being practical, and of being conservative people as we are, we forgot about the pointless hours and hours long conversations until 3 AM. We forgot about the "forget the stuff we have to do" and let's go do something together to get to know each other. We became adults.
Do you know what 18 and 21 year olds have figured out that we have not? They forgot the heartache potential and put themselves out there. They said I don't know if this will work but I don't know if it won't so might as well try.
Okay in reality they didn't think that at all they just didn't think but that's kinda my point. We as adults, my friends and I, are too practical and in regards to love, practicality may not be the best approach.
Not sure how I got there from thin lines between trying to show interest and being over bearing but there you go. :)
However, when things go right that line of flirting is so fun. It is so refreshing to find someone to chat with and ramble on about seemingly unimportant things. It is so nice to look forward to that call. To find a person that just talking to them even though there are lulls in a conversation just makes a day a bit brighter.
Yet if that is one sided does it matter.
The hard thing is expressing interest as well without being overly zealous. Interest is sometimes just that. That person is fascinating and beyond that who knows. I believe that to be the fundamental problem with dating at present. Dating and interest become scary and far to serious too fast. And by serious I mean they lose their spontaneity.
There is a gentleman in my ward here in Virginia whom I regard in a high manner. He is someone I have had in the past interest in. I have interest elsewhere as of now and have mainly given up on the likelihood of this guy making a move. Point being, he is great but as I've thought of him a few months ago I realized why he hasn't dated anyone since I've known him. And why other guys I know haven't.
In our "adult" phase of careers, of being practical, and of being conservative people as we are, we forgot about the pointless hours and hours long conversations until 3 AM. We forgot about the "forget the stuff we have to do" and let's go do something together to get to know each other. We became adults.
Do you know what 18 and 21 year olds have figured out that we have not? They forgot the heartache potential and put themselves out there. They said I don't know if this will work but I don't know if it won't so might as well try.
Okay in reality they didn't think that at all they just didn't think but that's kinda my point. We as adults, my friends and I, are too practical and in regards to love, practicality may not be the best approach.
Not sure how I got there from thin lines between trying to show interest and being over bearing but there you go. :)
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
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